Well, here I am at 39 weeks pregnant with our second child. I can't believe the time that has passed and the time that is creeping by slowly. Anison will soon be here, I will be induced Tuesday night. After much begging and proof of an ultrasound to show how big she is, the doctor finally is going to listen and let me go early. I feel beyond miserable, and never felt like this with my previous pregnancy, although I have never been 39 weeks pregnant either. I am trying not to freak out about all the little things I would usually loose it over and place my trust in God's provision. I know life is getting ready to change drastically and I am nervous, but mainly for Joselyn. No one ever told me that just 16 months after giving birth that I would not even remember what to do with a newborn, not to mention how I am suppose to take care of a toddler. Obviously God saw it fit to bless us with these two little girls so close in age, and I am forever grateful for what a blessing each of them are in their own way. I think back on when we were trying to conceive to begin with, Joselyn came at such the perfect time, I was completely desperate and broken hearted after five years of not being able to have and hold my very own child, that the whole time I was pregnant with her I would not let myself believe she would live. Then the moment they layed the little lizard on my stomach, my faith in God grew by leaps and bounds. I had a difficult recovery after my pregnancy and like most women wondered if it would ever even be a smart choice to get pregnant again, after six months I was starting to feel better, and the issues where starting to subside. When Joselyn was nine months old we found out to our shock that I was pregnant, naturally. My first reaction of course was laughter followed by tears of every emotion known to man. Doctors had told us even after Joselyn was born that there was hope we would one day conceive again with fertility treatment, but I would not conceive naturally. I couldn't believe for months that I was even pregnant, and when it finally sunk in we where in the midst of moving and getting settled in our new home. I got pushed into a new doctor that let's just say I am growing less and less found of. Now to think that in just a little over 24 hours I will be checked into a hospital awaiting the arrival of our second little girl, the emotions are starting to show a little more and more. Joselyn is beginning to act very different, and she knows something is about to happen, Chris is very busy at work, and I feel like doing nothing, so the house is not clean, laundry is not done, all the things I wanted to do before Anison's arrival to make sure the girls are treated the same has not taken place. I truly believe God is teaching me that this place in life I have never been to before and the only way to make it through is to realize he has not set something before me that he won't take care of. I am aware life is going to change, but I will not listen to others negative comments about how horrible it is all going to be, but instead I will try to focus my attention on the Grace given to me and realize I am suffering nothing that is not meant for God's Glory!!!
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